Someone once told me that my love starts at 9 PM.  This person told me this because every time we would set a time to meet for dinner or even talk on the phone,  I would say the best time for me is 9 PM.  This is because I normally don’t get off of work until 7 PM.

After a while it stopped being just a time and now we have made that our special time to talk on the phone when we are not around each other.  It’s amazing how a simple, consistent habit can become a powerful symbol of connection.

I have spent more of my life single then in a relationship and most of my friends know this.  There are times when my newly single girlfriends have come to me and ask ‘How to be single?’.  Of course I am always willing to help my friends, but I just think that is a strange question.  I think it is strange because newly single people act as if they have never been single.  I can understand if someone was in a relationship for five years and then broke up with their significant other or if you are a serial monogamists, but if you were only in a relationship for a year, don’t try to act like you forgot what the single life was like.

But, to answer the question, I would say just enjoy your single time.  I treat myself to the things that I want.  Those things include going out to eat, going on trips, buying nice things and trying new things, just to name a few.  I make sure that I treat myself the way that I want to be treated.  If there is something I want to do, I make it happen.  If there is something that makes me unhappy, I change it.  This works for me because doing these things makes me happier with myself and that is the person that I want going into a relationship.  Also, as I am dating people, it reminds me not to settle because I always remember the happiness that I created for myself and how I learned to treat myself right.

When I was young, I use to be extremely shy.  I was always quiet, afraid to speak my mind and I was always agreeable because I was worried about not being liked.  Now, that I am 37 years old, I embrace who I am.  I no longer consider myself as shy, but I do consider myself as reserved and I embrace my introverted personality.  I use to feel pressured to be loud, extremely outspoken and even sassy because I thought that was what other people liked and I was tired of other people telling me that I was too quiet.  I realize that I am not that person.  I am calm, reserved and observant and there is nothing wrong with that.

I feel so much better now that I am embracing myself.  I am introverted and there is nothing wrong with that.  With embracing myself, I have learned to speak up for myself and I am not worried about who likes me and it shows.  This year, I ran into a couple of friends I went to high school with and they told me I had a glow.  That glow comes from me embracing who I am.  I am calm and quiet and I love it.